Just an idea.
I think maybe what I post on social media will tell me the things from which I glean my self worth.
I have this urge to post about my books coming out, art I’ve done, and things that make me look like a more generous person. But why do I do this so religiously?
It’s like I don’t want others to miss that I’ve done something that gives me value. Why is that? Maybe because I get my value from what others think of me?
And when, as an experiment, I ask myself if I would post something that would make me look worse I think, “WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT?!!”
Maybe that response is a good indicator that I’m using social media to prove my value to the world.
But then I wonder, is it wrong for me to want my society to know the value I think I am giving to it?
Maybe not. But maybe yes, if it’s the only place I get my value. I should ask myself if I’ve ever done something generous, or brilliant, or beautiful that no one knows about.
Not many. Maybe that response should be an indicator that I don’t really believe that the one who sees what I do in private is really the one who gives me my true self worth.
Just an idea.
Raw Spoon, 1-18-16
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