Sons return to their fathers

I have been wondering for about a year if I needed some healing in some areas from my childhood.

Then recently a few things lined up for me to come home to Colorado to spend time with my dad for this month. (That’s one of my most important relationships that could use some attention.) I had a couple of dreams with my late mother in them, some strange coincidences happened, and a beautiful invitation came from my dad. So, I bought a ticket and flew home, hoping that some time in the house I grew up would help resolve the healing that needed to happen in my soul. It wasn’t my dad that did anything wrong, he is a GREAT dad, but I don’t think I knew how to receive love growing up, and because I only have one parent left, I wanted to go back and try to do it better.

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But one day before I came, it occurred to me I should pray about my trip. Probably a good idea. And then through prayer, not that this is always a good idea, I felt led to let my fat, old-fashioned paper Bible fall open and see where my eyes landed.

The first verse my eyes went to contained this:

“May the sons come home to their fathers.”

This got my attention. My eyes suddenly welled up. It hit me that God might actually really be real, and it looks like he might have just stopped everything to be with me, and tell me something.

This verse is part of a beautiful poem in Isaiah 49:14-18. I read the rest of the stanza through blurry eyes. It starts out by God saying ‘Do mothers desert their babies after they suckle at their breasts? Even parents will fail you, but I will never fail you. In fact, I have written your name on the palm of my hand.’ Then He goes on to say, ‘But Fathers, look up. Your sons will come home to you and your house will be filled with your children again.’

And I realized that going home and working on the relationship with my dad will not solve my emotional problems. Only my heavenly Father can do that. But sons coming home to fathers is still a very good thing. And maybe God is using that in my life in some way.

And that gave me the freedom to not require anything of my dad except to just be himself.

And it is in that spirit that I have just been hanging out with him. And it is so good for my soul. We sit side by side, watching TV and joking about what we are seeing. We go on runs, side by side. We give each other back rubs (our love language). We do projects side by side, and I just get to hang out with him a lot.

I know now that it is God that must heal the dry parts in my soul that we all have. But now I feel like I am gaining something I didn’t realize I was missing. I am gaining a really good, meaningful new friend that was always waiting to love me in the house I grew up in.

His name is Doug Boone. He’s my dad.

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Raw Spoon, 7-14-15

 

8 Responses to Sons return to their fathers

  1. Diane Fender says:

    Hey Ross! This blog post brought me to tears! Thanks for being vulnerable enough to share your journey. As someone who feels like I have a lot of healing still needed in this same area it is such a refreshing reminder we can love through hurt or unresolved issues. Ultimately, Jesus is our healer and brings such freedom when we are able to release things to Him.

    • raw spoon says:

      yes, Diane!! Thank you. It brings me to tears thinking that God is working in me and through my dad to heal our souls! Thanks so much for reading Diane!!
      there’s another tear jerker coming up this thursday. I kid I helped mentor has totally turned his life around. His life is beautiful.
      Thanks again!!

  2. Barbara Hardesty says:

    Ross, I read this and my heart went out to you. I pray the fellowship with your heavenly Father will continue and the fellowship with your earthly Father will grow deeper and deeper. You have a great dad and I am privileged to know him and you.

  3. Jo says:

    Thanks for sharing this. I know it probably wasn’t an easy post. I can relate to what you are going through – letting go of my expectations of my earthly Father did a lot for me. I still have moments that are hard, but I enjoy the time I do share with my Dad. I’m glad you are having a good visit. And I love, love, love those moments when God speaks directly to us. :)

  4. raw spoon says:

    Thanks Barbara and Jo! Thanks for encouraging me on my journey. Hope I can encourage you.

  5. rossboone says:

    Hey guys someone told me my blog sounded a bit like my dad did something to wrong me. He totally DID NOT HURT ME or anything. We’re different, but he’s a great dad. I just didn’t know how to receive love very well growing up. And I’m hoping to learn to do it better! Thanks for reading!

  6. Roger Way says:

    Knowing that God always gets more bang for his buck or rather does more than we pray for, He also did for your dad’s soul what He was doing in your’s. Great piece & Josh Garmon is one of my favorite humans!

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