Don’t hate them for their candidate

As we come together for the holidays, I assume many of us will be with family members who voted differently than we did. And I assume we all have very strong thoughts about it.

I think about what I learned last week from getting disowned by someone because of the elections.

The way someone voted does not change everything about who you knew them to be. And it does not change how they have loved you for your entire life.

Your relationship bank account

I’m hanging out with my brother’s family this week (undramatically, we voted similarly). He and his wife are patiently raising two young kids. I see a lot of beautiful moments that will never be seen or rewarded by others. Hours rocking kids to sleep and making their meals. And I started thinking of all the little acts of love towards someone over time being like a bank account. All those countless, and undeniably boring weekends that my mom and dad spent watching my wrestling tournaments were moments they invested in our relationship, like a bank account they were pouring into. All the hours rocking your crying children are moments being invested into who your child will become. The ways your brother stood up for you back in high school, or when your aunt hosted you for weekends away in Kentucky. Don’t forget those moments. That is who they are to you.

And so if we find ourselves thinking totally differently about some of our family members because of the way they voted, maybe we should check ourselves. We might need to remember that who they are, and how much we love each other, is not defined by who they voted for. I don’t want to let one moment at the polls suddenly empty the bank account we’ve spent our lives investing in.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving! Let’s build up those bank accounts!

Raw Spoon. 11-22-16