A lot of times we try to discipline ourselves out of doing bad stuff.
And I started thinking about my bad days and it seems on those days my desire for more animalistic pleasures is greater in every area. More laziness, more indulgence for food and and distractions and lusts and greedy pleasures and immediate gratifications. And I wondered why that is.
Is it less about a certain vice that is pulling me to something, than it is the status of my heart which makes it look for vices?
And I realized on my good days my heart was different. What was different about it? It was that on my good days I think I have a greater appreciation for beauty. And because of that when little vices sneak up and try to tempt me, I just didn’t want to bring dirt into whatever beautiful thing I felt in my life. Whether it be a peace in my mind. Or gratitude for the awe-striking rainstorm outside, or the bit of revelation I felt like God gave me that morning.
The feeling of peacefulness, and patience, and a closeness to my heart. Just more sensitive to things. More of a desire to keep my life in order.
And that appreciation of beauty, and maybe me cultivating it has a part to play in keeping the vices at bay.
Raw Spoon, 7-11-17