I went to a different church last night, and people made me awkward by how they raised their hands.
I mean they seemed kind of fake, and kind of immature (I guess they were mostly high schoolers in front of me so I’m really awesome for criticizing them). One of them was like flicking his palms from up to down on the beat for emphasis and just the way they rocked back and forth with their hands raised and the looks on their faces hit me as like way over-sentimental.
But then I noticed that I was also being super awkward. All packed in with my hands just sort of half-way lifted like I was shrugging or something, trying not to bump my neighbors, spending my time looking and judging the other people. Yeah awesome, Raw.
And I realized it’s so hard to really express what our hearts want to say in praise. It’s hard to even know what we feel because we get so distracted! Especially in our culture where what you look like is so important. Sometimes I wish I could dance like a little kid does, twisting his body for all he’s worth, swinging his stubby little arms and bouncing his diapered butt to the beat. The way people judge that sort of thing is by saying ‘he’s adorable!’
And maybe that’s how God looks at us either way. Even when we’re being awkward and self-conscious and even half-judging and doing our best not to look stupid. He probably thinks our awkwardness is funny and he’s proud of us for trying.
But it’s kind of sad though that it’s so tough to really get into full-hearted praise in these bodies and in this culture.
And I wonder if maybe in heaven we will be in bodies and settings perfectly fashioned to host our praises. We will be able to move exactly like we were made to. Our dance moves will come out of us as uniquely ours, expressing the status of our particular heart and communicate what it wants to say about God. Like full body sign language that we don’t have words to express. Inventive break dancing mixed with hoola hooping, or whatever we are made up of. And our enthusiastic, interpretive dance will interpret our hearts to say exactly what we never even knew we could communicate in these bodies down here.
And I bet we won’t even have to wear diapers. :)
Raw Spoon, 6-17-15